I have hesitated for a long time before writing this article. Why ? Perhaps because I was scared. Scared of judgment, afraid of what others may think. It’s pretty stupid you will tell me isn’t it? When I start a personal challenge, a new project that I like, I tend to have trouble to go through. Fear of failure? Surely. My unconscious may told itself that it’s easier not to go to the end. If I have to fail, better to fail consciously.
This time it is no longer a project like the others, it is not a new challenge that emerges in my thoughts in the middle of nowhere. Running 42,195 km is a dream that ripens in me from a very young age. Some girls dream of becoming a princess, for me since I am old enough to run I dream of only one thing, tread the bitumen over a distance that seems endless.
And then there was the time of prepa where I started to smoke, gain weight and the trend continued when I entered business school. Enjoying life after the difficult years of prepa has been stronger than my motivation to start a marathon training program. And to be quite honest, I did not really think about it. But the 42,195 km stayed in a corner of my mind ! When I’m ready I’ll go!
But are we really ready for such a challenge?
Then came the time to go to Paris and start a professional experience. To shut myself in a capital with the frantic rhythm that pushed me to privilege the work and parties with my buddies. But this sporting adrenaline I need it. It is what gives me the energy to go forward and surpass myself! Despite the diagnosis of Hashimoto hypothyroidism, fatigue and subsequent weight gain, I start the Miracle Morning trend. To get up at five in the morning and run through the sleeping streets of Paris: what a pleasure! I gradually get back the taste of the endorphin that gives me every training. After 3 months of early morning running and a change of job, the click begins little by little to take place without really becoming aware of it. The random challenge with a colleague to confront the Paris semi-marathon is underway. It is decided, in March 2016 it will be 21,098 km.
Wounded 3 months before the official race, it is without real training and under a torrential rain that I start at the start of this new adventure. I think I will remember this first official race for a long time. It was the trigger for the running machine. What an emotion to cross this finish line. To feel that we have surpassed! And then again by the biggest chance, it is my girlfriend Caro who announces me that she will participate in the Marathon of Paris 2016. I propose to accompany it on 10km to finish by doing the last 21 kilometers at his side And cross this coveted finish line. She’s a marathon runner. She did it and she can be so proud of it. This challenge intrigues and fascinates me. She is marathonian without training! 42,195 kilometers without real training is possible? It seems crazy to me. But unconsciously the cloud disappears from my mind. I can do it ? And it is my lover who finishes to flee the cloud with this simple question that still reasons in my head: it tells you we do a Marathon? Lets’ go.
From then on begin the fitness workouts. At 6 months of the official date, it is 3 months to re-tame the bitumen and lose the extra pounds that annoy me.
I want to start training before, at 4 months. I want to be ready. Unfortunately, the chosen program that is based on power is too hard for me. I can not do it. Each session is painful and has an impact on that little confidence that is in me, and I dread every sortie. I do not want to go. I do not want to do it anymore. Would I be overrated?
Then this little voice in the depths of me resounds: why do not you ask your uncle for advice? This great marathoner who swallows miles of a marathon for the same time as my semi. Can this fear of failure again be? The admiration I bear him is so strong that I am afraid he finds my goal ridiculous. But with time we grow up. I will never regret this phone call. His protective voice, his advice, his attention and his help: a program tailored to my purpose. This time we forget the power and focus on the distance.
I am now at the 4th week of training, and today it is 2h00 that my legs swallowed without bothering and taking pleasure in each stride. The little voice deep inside me is still there. She reminds me that Marathon is two and a half times that time I should run. This little voice I listen to, but unlike before, it no longer slows me down. On the contrary, it makes me aware of small victories every time I finish a training. Yes, I still have a long way to go. But I am serene, and each little step brings me a little closer to this dream.
And every time I run I imagine myself. I imagine myself on D-day with the people I love and supported by those who matter most to me. I imagine I crossed this finish line at the end of my strength alongside my lover and my uncle. And whenever I imagine it, this shiver runs through my whole body. It appears to be a physical reaction that would translate muscle fatigue and / or hyperthermia (dehydration). But deep down I know that it is also because this experience will be magical.
Marathon of Lyon I arrive. In 2 months I will tread your pavements, your bitumen and the crowd for a challenge that holds me so dear. And to those words that resonate in me: is that all? I can proudly answer: yes that’s it! It is only 42,195 km !
